I mean, I had to, the cunning old codger had me on the spot. What could I say... I carefully and slowly walked up to the microphone, glaring at him. As I took my place he pointed to a big parcel behind us and bent to whisper in my ear.

"Tell them a bit of a story first, Kelly."

What could I do? There was a sea of faces out there, all waiting for me to say something. Suddenly I felt very young and juvenile, standing before class in my best dress and trying not to flub my lines. Then they were just ordinary people again, a crowd to be entertained, and I was the pub girl who could make them relax and give them what they wanted.

"Hello, everyone. I guess you all know me, I'm the reason Father had to buy a microwave and a dishwasher and a video."

I paused and there was a murmur of laughter, and many heads bowed together as partners hurriedly reminded themselves who I was. After all, I have been more away than at home recently.

"I guess you all know I have to go to boarding school, just the same as your own children, but when I came home this time there was a big difference and one I must say I've had to adjust to very smartly."

"I found my father was about to get married again. This came as a bit of a shock, as I'm sure you can imagine, but I quickly found the woman to be a real lady and I'm very sure she'll look after my father better than I ever could!"

Marjorie was looking at me with a surprised look on her face, and Father had that faraway expression that really means he's embarrassed.

"There are some of you here who find this new situation as unlikely as I did," I began, deliberately looking to that section of the room that held Father's German pals, "but I'm sure that they'll come to see as I have done that people have a right to lead their own lives. "

I grinned at them all.

"Even parents."

"And so I must ask you to stand and make a toast to the future. Their future."

Magically my glass appeared in my hand and I held it up as people stood up everywhere. There was a nice warm glow inside me and I felt almost reckless instead of self-conscious as I had before.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Klaus and Marjorie."

There was an echoing shout and the two recipients glowed with embarrassment. I was beginning to enjoy this... this power. As everyone reseated themselves I shifted to the other microphone beside the keyboard and continued.

"And now we come to the presentation I've been asked to make, but before that I would like to remind you all that my father is German. He originally came here many years ago with another woman, and with me. You all know what happened then, how my mother died and how my father raised me."

I paused and took a sip of my drink. Now for the soft touch.

"I was only a child when my mother died, but I remember some things very well indeed. She too was German, and she loved to sing lieder, happy songs from her country. Now she is long gone and at last, after so many years, Father has been sensible and found another lady, or she has found him, I don't know which.

So the time has come for Father to face the end of his German-ness, and to be Australian, for I understand that they intend to return to Queensland eventually."

The room was completely silent now, everyone wondering what was coming next.

"And so now I hope you will let me sing the last lied, a farewell to a happy past and a welcome to a new future."

I took the microphone off its stand and walked forward a little, humming softly in the back of my throat, then began to sing one of the old songs, a soft and gentle lullaby that I remembered Father listening to alone beside our record player in the early times, a schnapps in his hand and tears in his eyes, thinking himself to be alone, his daughter in her bed.

At the last moment I opted for no accompaniment, relying on the control I had developed for timing and the natural lilt of the song itself. The German words came easily to my lips and in the German corner of the room I'm sure I saw more than a hint of tear as I finally ghosted to silence and stood, head bowed.

The applause went on for a long time and intensified as I motioned to Father and Marjorie to come forward. They did so hesitantly, my father looking slightly dazed and Marjorie very self-conscious.

I reached behind me and picked up the gaily wrapped parcel and as they reached me I passed it to Marjorie, then stood on tiptoe to kiss Father on the cheek, then her. The microphone was still in my hand and so I brought it to my lips again.

"Here they are, my Mum and Dad! I think we should hear something from them now, don't you?" and as the shouts of agreement made conversation impossible for the moment I remounted the microphone and led Father to it, then discreetly stepped back away to my waiting seat where my nerves finally boiled up and overwhelmed the brittle part I was playing. Hoping nobody noticed I took a large swig of almost-coke...

There was a long silence, and then Father spoke, slowly, carefully, his hand stealing out to grasp Marjorie's.

"I haff to think very carefully what to say..." he glanced down at the table where the boys, Tanu and I sat.

"I used to think I understood my daughter very well, but now I am coming to doubt I haff any understanding at all... I must thank you all very much for this present and for the goot vishes I have received all night..." His English was blurring now, and there were good-natured suggestions shouted in German from the back of the room.

He glared at them in mock fury.

"I think I will do as my daughter has suggested, I will now become an Ossy!"

His accent was so atrocious everyone burst out laughing. but he went on.

"Whatever comes for us in the future, we will always remember this place and the people in it. I thank you."

He led Marjorie back to their seat through a roar of applause and many people stood to shake hands as they passed. Meanwhile Old Fred was at the microphone again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the caterers inform me that food is available at the back of the room, so if you will organise yourselves into lines you can find something to eat, I'm sure. Meanwhile we'll have a little background music. Thank you."

When Tony and his crew began to play softly Michael leaned across to me, his face a mixture of awe and surprise.

"I didn't know you could sing, Kelly!"

I sipped my drink, for once lost for a retort.

"You didn't ask her." Tanu was watching me, amusement behind her brown eyes.

"I think there's lots we don't know, Michael." She said. "Kelly's very secretive sometimes. Are you unhappy about it?"

He looked a bit disconcerted at that.

"Nooo... I don't think so. She's got a fantastic voice!"

"She can play some of those instruments, too." Terry put in. "We were listening to her before. Where did you learn that, Kelly?"

Tanu had the very same question in her eyes. If anyone knows me it's Tanu, but I'd kept my little misdemeanours to myself from habit more than anything else. I had my life in nice and neat compartments and there was never any need to make tiresome explanations if I kept it that way.

I shrugged.

"I picked it up, I guess."

"Some pickup. That was professional singing. I bet Mum squeezes it out of you!" he added with a disarming grin that covered the bite in his voice.

I kept my silence. In Brisbane discretion had survival value and I managed to hold it together long enough that people became used to me singing and never dreamed I was still a schoolgirl. It's funny, but there seems to be a natural inertia effect with groups of people. If they see something happening in front of them they assume it to be sanctioned and normal, simply because it is happening.

What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

That's exactly it. As a consequence anyone with enough brass can do anything outrageous. If just one person had realised who and what I was and said anything, there would have been an uproar, but everyone assumed.

It helped that they liked the music, of course.

We were interrupted by Old Fred who beamed down at us.

"Well done, Kelly. See, I told you it would work out, didn't I."

"You never warned me about that speech though. That was a mean trick, I nearly died!"

"Rubbish. You looked very pretty up there in that white dress, with that beautiful hair... your dad must have been very proud."

"More likely confused." Tanu said quietly, a smile on her face. "How did you know Kelly could sing, Mr Barrett?" If she couldn't get the information out of me she'd try him.

"Ahhh, that would be telling!" He waggled a finger at her. "I'm not allowed to say." and he left, heading over towards the food line.

They all looked at me expectantly, so I drained my glass and stood.

"That looks like a good idea. Let's get some food." and I turned and set off after him.

Coward!

I have this side of my character that actively courts disaster and notoriety. Luckily my real self has a much keener interest in self-preservation, particularly when there's somewhere to run away to. I ran away to the food tables.

Unfortunately Marjorie intercepted me.

"Kelly! You continue to surprise me! That was a very nice thing you did back there..."

I shrugged and smiled at her.

"See, I told you it would be alright. Are you going to ask the same questions as the boys?"

She looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Well... I'11 have a talk with you later, if you prefer."

"It might be better. I think I'm supposed to be with the band soon."

Her eyebrows rose again. "I see. Very well, I'11 do that." We both joined the line and became separated over the next few minutes as others milled and pushed.

Kelly, how are you going to get out of this mess?

I don't know.

I sat munching some small club sandwiches while the boys chatted across the table, the topic of conversation being a tall blonde girl two tables away. As usual, Tanu only nibbled at her food, continually observing the people around her.

Of all my friends and family I knew I would have least trouble with her, no questions if I didn't want them and strong support if I needed it.

My glass had done its trick again and was filled with more dark liquid. The way I was feeling it couldn't have much coke in it, but... what the hell. I took another sip, catching Terry's impish look over the edge of the glass. After that it becomes a little blurry. I remember singing and playing in the band again, and I'm sure I remember doing a duet with Tanu, both of us at the one microphone. There was dancing and lots of laughter, and that darn glass hardly went down an inch before it was full again.

Tanu must have let go too, but if she was drunk I can't remember her disgracing herself. I can still see her dancing, flinging that magnificent head around as I sang.

The next real recollection I have is of being firmly guided to a car by Tony. The cool night air must have revived me a little, I guess.

"I... what... where are you taking me, Tony?"

"I'm not. Old Fred will take you home in my car. You'll be OK in the morning, Kelly."

"Wheeee... I wonder. Thanks, Tony."

"No, it's me who should be thanking you. When you get over the headache give me a ring, will you?"

I didn't answer, but got in the back of the car and slumped. All of a sudden my eyes were drooping and my whole body sort of lost stability. The next I knew Father was helping me up the steps and inside and then someone was pulling off the white dress and gently pulling the sheet up over my suffering body.

There was a basin beside the bed, I discovered later to my everlasting gratitude, and when my abused stomach finally rebelled I was able to think clearly again. I staggered to the bathroom and halfway back again before I realised I had no clothes on, but it no longer seemed important. I had no idea of the time and collapsed back on my bed.

And now I was back in the real world again.

I looked out the window into the bright sunlight and winced. It had to be faced sooner or later, so I got out of bed and grabbed a towel before heading down the hall to the bathroom, wrapping the towel around me.

Michael was already in there, I found, crouched over the toilet with a white face. He looked at me uncaringly as I began the shower and when I finished he was gone. I felt much better than he looked, I consoled myself as I carefully towelled my head, trying not to shake it too much in case it fell off.

Later I dressed in shorts and halter and ventured into the kitchen where I brewed some coffee and eased myself into an armchair in the lounge before I realised that Father was sitting quietly, watching me.

For a long time he said nothing, just looked at me in an interested way as if he was seeing me for the first time. That suited me. I didn't trust myself to speak.

He finally stirred and spoke in English.

"How do you feel?"

"Terrible! Now's the time to shoot me if you want, I won't even feel it!"

"I thought you didn't drink."

"So did I. It was that Terry, he kept filling the glass. Where is he, anyway?"

"In bed. I think he looks even worse than you do. Here, put some of this with the coffee, I always found it helped." He poured a measure of schnapps into my cup before I could protest, and for the first time I realised he must have been there for some time.

"I'm sorry, Father. I must have made a spectacle of myself last night."

He was silent for a while.

"Kelly, where did you learn music? Irma never taught you and I never could. You were good. Very good." He sipped his drink again.

"Uhh... how am I supposed to answer that? It seems I'm headed for trouble again..."

He smiled.

"You're always in some kind of trouble. No, you don't have to tell me, it's just that I am learning that you are really no longer a child, that you have a life of your own that I don't know anything about. Last night... when you sang that song, I suddenly understood what you were trying to tell me. You were right, the past is best put away if we are to live proper lives."

"Old Franz nearly had a fit when you sang Irma's song." He laughed gently at the memory. He still thinks of you as a little girl... We all did, I suppose.

"I haven't changed. Father."

"You should look in the mirror sometime. I undressed you last night, in case you're wondering, when you seemed so incapable. No, you're not a little girl anymore. Is there anything I should talk to you about?"

I blushed to the roots of my hair.

"I don't think so, Father."

We looked at each other fondly for a long minute.

"Then I won't ask any questions. Marjorie might be a little sharper though. She wants to talk to you about two drunken boys who certainly did disgrace themselves, in her eyes, at least. I think she blames you."

"Me? It was Terry, he kept filling my glass with rum and coke. And Tanu's. How did she get home, by the way?"

"Before I left I saw Peter the barman and arranged that she would be taken home by him. She's a lady, that one."